SMASH! The mazoku strikes again!
by VioletGlare
Summary: Sequel to Tricking and Disasters. Where is Xellos is always trouble, especially is there's Naga too. Lina and Xellos are "glued" toghether. What will they do? For Allie, you cow :P
1. Chained toghether? Naga you moron!

**Hello there! I made another Slayers story because one of my friends asked for one, and English sounds better than my language. If you read it too, it might have a couple more chapters. It features Naga too, but I'm not really sure I matched the original storyline, so please alert me for any weird things or grammar mistakes! It should be around the end of Try and before the beginning of Revolution, but anyway. This is mostly just for laughing, so it shouldn't make any sense, right?**

"FIREBALL!" The twenty villains which had the nerve to challenge the great sorcerer Lina Inverse blew up in the red flames.

Lina smirked, showing one tiny fang and waved her hair. She checked their pockets for any gold coins and went down the road humming. She was going to meet with Gourry, Zelgadis and Amelia in the village on the other side of the mountain she was climbing now and she came across three bands of villains in just the last hour. Not that she actually minded. Blowing up people helped her start the day with a smile.

Having climbed already half way, she decided it was time for a rest, her friends being able to wait a couple minutes more. With that thought in her mind, she sat comfortably underneath a tree and took a little nap. Moments later, she heard a snap. She opened her eyes immediately and threw a Flare Arrow in that direction .A heavy wind started and a few Freeze Arrows were shot to her. Lina quickly ran down the mountain, the wind following her. She tripped and fell to the ground. "Almekia Lance!" She fired the spell to the wind and suddenly someone jumped from behind it and landed on a piece of rock. There was dust in her eyes so she couldn't see who it was, but a certain laugh and a certain sentence made her realize that there were in fact two persons…the only two people in the world she wouldn't want to see together. Naga and Xellos.

"Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha!Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha!(I really wanted to write it down ^.^)What happened, the great Lina can't stand a pile of dust? No wonder, because I, Naga the Serpent, Lina's most powerful enemy, can cast a thou-"EXPLOSION ARRAY!

Naga flew up in the sky and fell down in the bushes. "My, my, you are as powerful as ever, aren't you Lina?" Xellos clapped at the funny performance before Lina launched herself at him, throwing her elbow into his head, making him fall down. She then grabbed his head and started kicking him into a tree. "MORON! IDIOT!FRUITCAKE!PEEPING TOM! MONSTER!" "W-well, that last one is-" "NO ONE ASKED YOU! How dare you trick us again and in such a pathetic way! Your jokes aren't funny at all! I don't care how much you feed of us by doing such things but you gotta stop!" "L-Lina, you realize that what you do right now is-" "Shut up! This may be feeding you but it helps me take my anger on you! And yet…Life is so beautiful! I love it! Cute little puny animals that live peacefully!" She continued kicking his head while singing cute songs until she made herself sick. She let go of him and rose up.

"What was that all about, Lina?" "Well, I wanted to try a little test, figuring that negative emotions like kicking you in a tree and positive emotions like singing cute songs will somehow neutralize each other, I will feel like showing a kid a candy then eating it yourself." "Well, I never thought of that one before, but it sure did the trick."

"Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Wa-ha-ha-ha! Did you think you could get rid of me by using such a cheap trick? I'm Naga the Serpent, my flat chested friend, you cannot beat me!" Lina snapped. Xellos chuckled. "You shouldn't have said that…" "Ha! Like I'm afraid of Lina! I've said it before a thousand times, though I don't quite remember what happened after it.." Lina smirked. "Heh, I'll show you just exactly what happened…"

DIGGER VOLT! FLARE ARROW! FREEZE ARROW! BRAM BLAZER! ALMEKIA LANCE! RA TILT! FREEZE BULLET!

Lina sighed as she watched what was left of Naga, feeling much better. "Why were you two together and attacking me anyway?" Xellos opened his mouth to speak, but before Lina glared at him "If you say _That is a secret_ I will lock you into a room with Filia after I tell her just how many Golden Dragons you killed , adding twice the real number."

Xellos smiled. "I still could teleport, but I wouldn't risk it, knowing you. I was on an errand from my mistress looking for some artifacts, when I met her and she told me she was looking for you, so I brought her to you. As for the attack, I had nothing to do with it; she had her own motifs that seem well reasoned." "Yeah, and you expect me to believe you took her to me because you're a good citizen and like helping others, right?" "Well, I was going to come to find you too, so why not some company?" "Aha, even though she resembles Martina?" Xellos sweat dropped. He looked again at the sorceress. Same kind of revealing clothes, same arrogance and same pride, even the laugh is very alike. "They aren't relatives are they?" Lina laughed. "Oh, what happened, the great monster is afraid of a girl? I might use this in my advantage…he he he. Well, see you around."

She took off, reaching the entrance of the village and searched her pals in all the restaurants, at last finding them in a seafood restaurant. "Hey waiter! 20 of your best seafood meals right away! Hey you guys, how are ya?" "How are we? Miss Lina you left us here waiting for you for almost 5 hours! What have you done?" Lina joined her hands behind her neck and sat back in her chair. "Well, Xellos appeared so naturally I had to kick his butt for what he did to us. And then Naga came too and I blew her up because she annoyed me." "I hope you kicked Xellos from me to." Zelgadis grinned. "Don't worry Zel, I gave him what he deserved." "What was that about my sister, Miss Lina?" Amelia looked a little worried. "Naga is powerful; she won't die for such a little thing…"

"Damn straight, Lina! Wa-ha-ha-ha! Wa-ha-ha-ha!" Lina sweat dropped. "Naga, why are you following me? What do you want?" "Well, that monster told me you were looking for something…treasure so I won't let you take it all by yourself! That's why I took this!" She took a pair of handcuffs and quickly chained one side to one of Lina's arms.

"Wha-? No you don't!" Lina jumped and kicked Naga in her face before she chained her arm and casted a dust spell so she won't find them. Naga still found the chain but right before she chained it to her, Xellos appeared next to her and she…accidentally chained his arm.

When the dust was gone, Lina fell to the ground when she saw who was chained with her. "Naga you moron! How could you possibly chain Xellos with me?" She kicked her again. "Well how could I know whose hand that was? It wasn't like I saw anything…" Everybody fell to the ground. "Whatever; give me the key to unlock us." "Key? What key? When I bought the chains I didn't get any key, I thought it had a button or something…" "You are such a jellyfish brains! Fine then, FREEZE ARROW!" The spell was destroyed by a shield casted by the handcuffs. "Huh? The hell! Don't annoy me! FIREBALL!" Again no effect. Lina tried some more powerful spells and after the others tried to rip the chains too but they didn't even made a scratch, Lina did a Dragon Slave, and because that didn't work either, after the villagers ran after them they hid into the woods. "Xellos, teleport!" He did try but he teleported with Lina also an inch further. "Well, try something else!" "It wouldn't help Lina, it is clear that these chains have unbreakable shields and they don't have any way to open them either."

"AAARGH! Where the hll did you bought those from, Naga?" " Uhh, I bought them from this weird blonde women with a tail that was selling weapons and vessels and there was also a fox and a green monster and a kid with black wings." "Filia! Great! We can go there and ask her to help us! Where was the store?" "Uh…"

"No, no you did not forget where it was! Nagaaa!" "Shut up and let me think!"

"We're DOOMED!" Lina took Xellos's hands and placed them on his head. "Come on; bump me in the tree…"

**This is the first chapter! Allie, I hope you like it! You cow… :P**


	2. A kiss! Two maybe?

**This is the second chapter! I hope you like it! (Ally ,no it means pervert ****:) May contain a little tiny winy fluff.**

"WHYYY MEEE? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH A CRUEL FATEEEEE!?" Lina wined for the tenth time in the last minute. They were finally on the road, even though Naga still had no idea where exactly Filia's shop was; but with a little help from a couple of white magic direction spells and Xellos's sixth sense to feel any energy (Filia's one being very strong; she's a dragon duh) they found out it was somewhere around the kingdom of Zoana, so both Lina and Xellos sweat dropped; meeting with Martina was the last drop to fill the glass.

"Oh, come on Lina, being chained to me is really that bad? You know you're not the only one suffering; I can't report anything to my mistress, only weak mind signals that can't be very long so she will beat me when I get back to her…" Lina kicked him in the head. "Like you wouldn't enjoy it…Oh you don't know how sorry I am, don't you want a shoulder to cry on? Of all people I had to be chained with a monster! A MONSTER! And this stupid chain is barely 10 inches long, I practically have to stay glued to you! Oh God please forgive I know I've been done lots of bad things, I mean LOTS but still…" "Cut it out Lina, you're giving me a headache. Please try to work together; I'm not happy either that this monster has to come with us again." Zelgadis glared at the smirking mazoku; this was promising to be a very long journey…

At nighttime, they reached an inn and after Lina, Naga and Gourry battled for the meals, they took two rooms, each one with two double beds. "Uhhh, guys aren't you forgetting something?" Lina lifted her handcuffed arm. "That's right, what do we do?" Amelia asked. "We should buy another room." The inn keeper sweat dropped. "I'm afraid we only have one single room left, with a single double bed in it."

"WHAAAT? Amelia, Naga, give me your room key!" Naga took the key from Amelia's hand and dragged her upstairs. "Sorry, but that's what you get for throwing Naga the Serpent in the air! Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha!" Lina's vein popped up. "Damn that Naga, I'll hide her clothes when she sleeps…but it won't make a very big difference…Zelgadis, Gourry, please!" "No thanks Lina. I won't share the same bed with Gourry, he might hug me."Then they walked upstairs too. Lina fell to her knees."You will all pay!" She then whispered to the inn keeper: "Absolutely everything on our bill will be for the blue one and the one with the weird laugh got it?" The inn keeper nodded, obviously scared by Lina's angry look.

She then walked upstairs with Xellos and entered their room. "You don't have to sleep do you? Then you will stay in the chair there, but if you dare to pick on me you're fish food, understand!" Xellos made a smug face. "Well Lina, I can't possibly stay like that the chain is too short. We have to share the bed." Lina punched him in the face. "I refuse to get naked for you!" Xellos rubbed his nose, grinning. "You sound like Filia. As for the _getting naked _part, I will have to come with you even when you're in the bathroom, so I naturally will se-" FIREBALL! Xellos was thrown in the wall, Lina completely forgetting she was chained with him so she bumped into him (you'll think she'd learn in Revolution with inspector Weizer…)

"Ouch! Damn it…Come on." She dragged him to the bed and made him turn around as she tried to undress. Obviously having a 10 inch long chain made Lina drag poor Xellos's hand for 5 minutes only to take off her boots and her cape, so she decided to sleep like that.

"Try and sleep as far from me as you can, okay?" "That would be very hard to do, Lina, the chains ar-" "Too short I get it, but do we really have to sleep face to face? I mean, it would be creepy to wake up in the middle of the night and see you staring at me." "I can go in a trance that stands somehow as sleep if it bothers you that much." "Ugh I guess it's all right then. Good night." Lina pulled the covers around her to somehow protect her from any eventual glance from the Trickster Priest. But to her surprise, Xellos took the covers off of her and covered himself.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lina said, grabbing the sheets to her side. "Covering myself, obviously." He then pulled the covers to him again. Lina groaned. "Urhg! Why would you need sheets? You're a monster you don't feel cold!" She pulled the sheets to her, but Xellos took the other side, so they were both pulling in the opposite direction, that is until Xellos smirked at Lina. "Oh, dear Lina, your breasts are visible." "WHAT?" Lina covered one her chest with one of her hands. Xellos, seeing the opportunity, pulled the sheets harder and Lina screamed flying towards him and landed on top of him…kissing him.

Lina blushed like hell and she yelped, jumping on the other side of the bed. Xellos being chained to her, of course followed her, only to land on her lips again. "Knock it off Xellos!" Xellos chuckled. "Does it look like I did anything, Lina? You're the one that-" "Shut up and let me sleep!" Lina pulled the covers over her now tomato like face. Xellos pretended to yawn. " Ohh don't tell me Lina, was that your first and second kiss?" Lina gulped. "Wha-what are you talking about, moron? G-go to sleep already!"

In the morning, Lina woke up stretching .She couldn't believe what a good sleep she had. She had this nice dream about kissing a –"Good morning Lina, how are you?" Xellos radiated almost a positive energy, which somehow made Lina sick. It wasn't a nice dream, it was a freaking NIGHTMARE! Then she remembered… "OH MY GOD! You kissed me!" She rushed to the bathroom, dragging Xellos too and gargled some water and spit it out.

"Oww come on Lina, was it that bad?" "No you airhead it was amazing what do you think?" And she continued to gargle. "Like being chained to you wasn't enough. I will sell my soul to the devil only so I could kill Naga slowly and painful…hehehe." She then dressed up and they went downstairs to eat breakfast, the rest of them (except Naga) were really scared of Lina's devilish grin. Naga slammed her palms on the table. "How dare you make me pay for all the inn accommodation?" "Ohoho, this will not be the only thing I'll do; you will see…" Naga's face grew blue; Lina really knew how to take revenge on someone. "Anyway, how was your night Lina?" Zelgadis asked. Lina bumped her head on the table. "I don't want to talk about it…" Xellos smirked. "Lina, haven't you noticed anything after you woke up?"

"Notice what you lunatic? You think I am in the mood for your gam-" She then took him by the collar and shook him. "What have you done? You moron, you watched me naked haven't you? Bastard!" "Well, no, actually I wanted the sheet back and I covered you with my cape so you won't miss it…"

"That's all? Oh…then WAIT A MINUTE! That cape is-" "A part of my body yes. I can tell you Lina your body is very interesting." Lina trembled. "Ha is that so…interesting you say…stupid mazoku here is your END! _Darkness beyond twilight, Crimson beyond blood that flows…_ "She's casting the Dragon Slave! Everybody evacuate the building, hurry!" Amelia and the rest of them ran outside. _..I pledge myself to conquer, All the foes who stand… "_Lina stop this! You are getting us both killed!" _…By the power you and I posses…_ "I don't care as long as you'll die even if I kill myself in the process!. DRAGOON SLAVEEEE!

**Here is the second chapter! I hope you like it! Sorry or any mistakes. Enjoy! Let me know if you have any ideas to continue ****!**


	3. The favor? A stunning dance competition!

"Lina…" SLAP! Xellos rubbed his cheek again. "Come on Lina…" SLAP! Since they ran out of the village Lina dragon slaved, whenever Xellos tried to talk to her she always slapped him or kicked him in the head, which not that he actually minded, just that he didn't know why she was so upset. Usually, after taking her revenge she held no more grudges. Was that thing with the cape made her so upset? Or…

"Oh Lina, you're still nervous about me **kissing** you?" He was careful to accentuate the word. Lina's face dropped off. "WHAAAT?" Amelia and Zelgadis asked in unison. Naga laughed. "Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha! Well, it was time for Lina to find a lover, though a priest is quite ironic of a choice for you. Wa ha ha ha!" "Why you…EXPLOSION ARRAY!" She then turned to Xellos. "And you …" Xellos opened both his violet eyes, his gaze melting her. Lina was so flustered; she had to turn her face. "Oh brother…" "W-wait, what was that about the kiss?" Amelia and Zel asked.

"FIREBALL! RAY WIND!" She took off with Xellos a couple miles forward, near a lake. Lina washed her red face, trying to erase her blush.

"Oh, hiding our relationship from your friends? I guess your right; the chimera won't be very happy about it…" Lina almost drowned hearing his words. "What relationship? Are you seriously a moron?" She then pushed him into the lake, she of course, following. "C-c-COLD!" Lina's teeth clenched as she jumped into Xellos's arms.

"G-get me OUT!" "But Lina, you're the one that pushed me in the first place so it's your fa-" Xellos was silenced by Lina who was trying to climb up on his shoulders. "C-come on, go back on land! I'm cold!" "Is this how you act after you pushed me in the lake and hit me all day long?" "Snap out of it moron! It's not like you don't enjoy it! It's your fault for keep on annoying me! Go on already!"

"And what if I don't?" "You mean you'll just stay here inside the water just to crack my nerves? You have some guts…" Xellos smirked and opened one eye. "No, actually I had something else in mind…"

He then started to swing, Lina hugging his neck tight. "Stop it I'll fall down!" "I'll stop it you owe me a favor…" "What favor you pervert! Stop it already!" "Alright, you don't say it I'll drop you into the water and you will have to undress in front of me…" "Noo! I'll do it I'll do it!" His grin grew wider."Do what?" "You jackass I owe you a favor!" "Promise?" "I god damn promise!" He then stopped and walked on the grass, placing Lina down.

"Do you want my cape?" "Y-you won't f-fool me again idiot…" "You sure? Your lips are pretty blue and you might get a really bad cold." Lina eventually accepted as she pulled his cape around her, she already felt she was getting warm. "Good. Since your _time of the month_ is around next week, a cold would be the last thing you'd want."

"Yeah, I guess you're WAIT A MINUTE! How do you know when my time of the month is?" "Oh, I've been around for quite a while, haven't I? I already know your schedule." "M-my schedule…you PERVERT! ALMEKIA L-" Xellos took her wrists to stop her. "Do you actually enjoy being chained to me, Lina? Because I think you like striking me with your spells so that you can land on top of me."

"What? Where did that came from?" They were stopped by Amelia's voice nearby. "All right, let's go. But don't forget you owe me a favor."

Lina's face got blue. 'Oh no, what would he make me to do?'

They walked peacefully until the next village, which had a festival going on at the moment. There was a couple dance competition and the reward was a quite large amount of money. "Miss Lina, I think we should participate, we're kind of out of money." "Amelia's right. We should all participate to increase our chances. I'll go with Amelia-" He then turned to her- "If that's alright." Amelia nodded, blushing.

"I'll go with the blonde one! The priest and Lina will pair up naturally, since they have no choice. Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha!" "Uhhh, my name is Gourry, I think…" "Gourry wouldn't mind his partner doesn't know his name; he doesn't know it either…" Xellos snickered. "We should buy some nice clothes; the competition is for classic dance after all…" Lina gulped. "Hey wait! I don't know how to dance at all!"

"Don't worry Lina, I know how to dance I'll guide you." "That's what I was being afraid of…"

Somehow, Amelia managed to change Lina without Xellos looking; he could change by himself after all. Lina was wearing a dark red dress with shiny black pattern that had very short sleeves and a silver bracelet, earrings and necklace with a violet gem in the middle of each one witch Xellos bought for her. She had her hair curled a little at the ends. Amelia was wearing a pale blue summer dress with dark blue flower pattern and a silver necklace. Naga was barely convinced to wear something decent; she wore a sleeveless bright yellow dress that went till her knees and had a large hole just 1 inch above her breasts to "Let them breathe." She said. Xellos was wearing a violet and red tuxedo; Zelgadis wore a blue one and Gourry a green and yellow one.

When the dance competition began, a couple of the women dancing suddenly broke a heel and were disqualified. Lina thought it was Naga's doing. As they danced, Lina tried not to step on Xellos, but he really knew what he was doing. After a couple of twirls Lina was already into the dance as she felt more relaxed with Xellos around. Maybe he wasn't that bad… What was she saying? He is a monster! A pervert, annoying, selfish, rotten monster! But he was quite charming, especially those eyes of his…WHATT? Where did that came from?

She didn't even realize they have won the competition until Xellos kissed her on the lips again to wake her up. She struggled not to make a scene right now, or they could take their prize back. After they ate a large meal and reached their inn room, Lina kicked Xellos in the head until her hand felt numb.

"Stop kissing me! Of all the monsters I've met, you are the first one that never ceases to amaze me with all your mind games and stuff." "Thank you Lina, you're quite the sorceress as well. In all my years of living I've never met any human like you. I must say I grew a fondness over you." Lina's cheeks exploded. "Stop with this nonsense! How could you say something like that without getting yourself food poisoning?"Xellos bowed his head to the side."Because I actually enjoy saying it. Now about the favor you owe me…"

Lina gulped. "I should've known it will come to this. What will you make me do? Ally with the monsters? Kill someone? I don't mind destroying something as long as I can check it out first but I won't-"

"Kiss me."

**All righty this is the third chapter. I still don't have any idea where I'm going with this story; I just made some notes that I keep on developing every day. Anyway, thanks for reading and tell me your ideas or any mistakes you found. (Ally, if you don't get it yet you're still a moron…)**


	4. Stupid chains! Why is it always a secret

Lina smacked Xellos in the head as hard as she could. "What was that for, Lina?" "Are all monsters mental disabled or are you just special? What is wrong with you? I really think you should stop hanging around us you're getting really creepy!" "Is that so? And why may I ask?" "Why? Stop playing with me what do you mean why? For the last couple of days you kept on kissing me and even bought me jewelry!"

"So you didn't like it?" "No, I did like it…SNAP OUT OF IT! Stop playing around Xellos!" Xellos smiled. "Oh come on, I said you owe me a favor and that is you kissing me." Lina grabbed his collar. "You can't seriously mean it! I'll do anything else! I swear! I'll clean your room for a week, no a MONTH! I'll do any task you don't want to do! But please don't make me do it!"

"Is kissing me that big of a deal? Or are you just too nervous to do it? Perhaps you're…scared?" Lina's face was brick red. "Why would I be scared of kissing you idiot?" "Then why don't you?" Lina grunted as she closed her eyes shut and tapered her lips, waiting for Xellos to close the gap. "Not like that Lina, you have to kiss me." Lina groaned as she slowly reached over his lips, giving him a small peck. Xellos pulled her head back so he continued to kiss her, trying to open her mouth. Lina yelped starting to say something, giving him access inside her. Lina jumped, biting his tongue, making him let go of her.

"ONE MORE THING LIKE THIS ON OUR WAY TO FILIA AND I SWEAR TO THE LORD OF NIGHTMARES I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR MISTRESS WITH A SINGLE SHOT!"

Lina slept in the bed, not letting Xellos climb in the bed, even if it hurt her hand. The next day they finally arrived in the kingdom of Zoana, which was rebuilt and looked more beautiful than before. It didn't take long for Martina and Zangulas to show up, along with a pair of twin girls, Martina having a belly again. After Martina made quite a few remarks about Lina's chest and Lina barely managing not to kill her (she was pregnant after all) she told them where Filia's shop was and so they went over there.

Filia hugged them all tight, even Xellos because he was chained to Lina, and told them they could take whatever they liked from her shop. Gourry found a couple of stronger swords made by the dragons, Amelia took some nice china and after that they ate a meal prepared by Jillas and Gravos. In the meantime, Filia went with Lina and Xellos in the backroom, where a small Valgaav was playing with his toys. He was in a pale blue shirt and white pants. His horn was gone, as well as his scars on his face and he smiled happily. Lina hoped he didn't feel any grudges from his previous life.

"When that Naga girl came into my shop, I knew she wasn't serious so I didn't want to sell her anything. But it appears she stole a pair of chains from the storage that are little too dangerous to sell to normal people, being so hard to open up." Filia explained. "These chains are made for quarrels, especially between couples. Until the pair makes up, it can't be removed by any form of magic. So you to will have to say something nice to each other and then probably kiss."

"AARGH no more kisses I've had it! Just thinking that Naga wanted to chain me with her makes me puke!" "Shh, Lina, if you keep going like that we will be chained forever. I'll start if you want. You are beautiful and you have really nice breasts." Lina's vein popped up. "If I hadn't risk my escape I would've kicked your ass just now." "Your turn." "Umm…let's see… you have…nice eyes?" The chains glowed.

"It's working! Now we would only have to…" Xellos kissed her and the chains fell off. "Free at last!" "Though I've been thinking, a monster's power could easily break the barrier so why didn't it?" Filia asked. Xellos smirked. "Of course it could, it was just too funny of an adventure to miss. Lina's jaw dropped.

"So all this time you could've escaped but chose to play with me? What was the purpose of this crap you put me through?" Xellos opened one eye and raised his finger. "_That is a secret."_ He then kissed her one more time. "Pleasure, as always."

"Wait, come back here! FIRE-" Her powers weren't working anymore! Not now… "I told you that time of the month was coming soon. It really strikes you when you least expect it doesn't it?" "If you tell anyone about what happened I will dragon slave you the next time you come around." "I will keep my mouth shut if you give me another kiss."

"FILIA GIVE ME YOUR MACE XELLOS YOU'RE DEAD!" Xellos chuckled as he flew outside."Lina you'll destroy the city again." "I DON'T CARE! COME BACK HERE!"

**So, this was the last chapter. No wonder Lina had that O.o look when they saw Xellos in Revolution. Thanks for watching. Love you all! (Ally I hope cows like it too :P)**

**NYA!**


End file.
